Heidi's Blog

New Pictures

There are new pictures up on www.thegrebs.com/pictures.
Three new albums under Hunters album (17 mos, 20 mos, and 21 mos). And new new main albums (Mothers Day at the zoo 2006 and Oklahoma Trip 2005/2006. There will be more albums to come.

Work

So I am loving being my own boss. I wish work would pick up though. It has been slow going, but I know it is always a struggle at first. Today I went with a friend around to drs/dentists offices and gave the secretaries goodie bags. Every single person I gave one to today was immediatly happy. Their reactions were awesome. Most of them acted like that was the best thing to happen to them today. I am really hoping we hear back about them. I am really tired of not having any parties. But I really think I am on the right track.

Life

So two weeks ago today my grandpa died. For the first week I was so depressed, couldn't even cry, but totally couldn't even function through the week. I finally broke down after about a week and really cried. I didn't know that I had some of the feelings bottled up like I did. That first week I couldn't even figure out my feelings. The one feeling that has plagued me is guilt. Over the past few years I have been increasingly distancing myself from my grandpa. He lives in Oregon and I live in Florida, how much further could we possibly get. I knew I wasn't going to see him often, so it hurt less if I just didn't contact him. I wrote a few letters, sent a few Christmas cards, even sent a few pictures. Last year at this time he got really sick and we thought he was gonna die. When he didn't I booked us a flight to Oregon for two weeks so we could see him and my family. Out of the two weeks I saw my grandpa for three hours. There was a lot of family there for the first two hours and it was chaos. The last hour was so strained. I could tell my grandpa was tired and I just didn't want to be there anymore. He did get to meet his only great-grandchild for the first, and only, time. I haven't "had time" to mail out the latest pictures of Hunter and was going to do that when I found out he was dead. I did send a picture of Hunter when he went into the hospital this summer from a stroke, but haven't sent him anything since then. I feel so horrible. I knew that the last time we saw him would be the last, I guess I kind of closed up. Now he is gone and he will never know how much I really loved him. I miss him so much. I guess the moral of all this is to please please please keep those you love close to you. You never know when they are gonna be gone forever....

Growing Up

Well, Hunter is almost 17 months old now. He is getting to be such a big boy. He is into everything. We have decided it is time to stop nursing now completely. That is pretty rough, on both of us. We found that he has an allergy to regular yogurt with any flavoring in it. I guess the preservatives react with him, but when it comes in contact with his skin he turns all red in that area. Guess it is back to baby yogurt for now. Other than that, he eats like a big boy now. Today he even ate his lunch sitting in a regular chair. He was so good about it. He was very very proud of himself for it too. I am really not ready for my baby to grow up, but like it or not, he is.

Work

Well I have entered the working world again. I am babysitting a few days a week now to help out with the bills. Also I have decided to jump on the home business band wagon to sell personal items for extra money. By this time next year we should be financially able to have another baby. I am really excited about the home business. And it will get me out of the house a bit as well.

Hunter at the Beach

So we took Hunter to the beach for the first time yesterday afternoon. He loved the sand. He crawled everywhere. He loved to eat the sand as well. He was scared of the water for some reason. That is so weird because he loves baths. I think the waves were too much for him. And the water was pretty cold.

Here is one of my favorite pictures:

Click on the picture for the whole album.

Final Days Of Trip

So it is two days before our flight home. My grandmas dog is supposed to have puppies any day. I hope she has them before I leave. She has been in labor for over a week. She has bloody mucus now, so it should be any time.

My brother goes in for his surgery tomorrow. He is pretty nervous. Michael and I will be at my parents house all day by ourselves (well except for Hunter). I guess we won't see much of my family after today. My mom and aunt are going to take us to the airport on Wednesday, but other than that today is the last day to spend any quality time with my mom. I think she is getting really sad we are leaving. I think things at home are a lot easier for her with us here.

Beginning of Second Week

So it is Friday, just a few more days left of our Oregon trip. I am still sick. Why won't this go away. Hunter has an absest in his penis that the dr told me to try and pop. Yeah, right.

We are going to a bbq at my cousin Mike's house today. It should be fun. His wife is really nice. Her and I went to Pendleton and then to Hermiston yesterday. We had to take her son to the ped. Then we went shopping. She then proceeded to try and figure out how I was gonna come over to her house and visit more while we are here, but we don't have a lot of time left.

My grandma has to take the Ione High School track team to Boardman today, so I am to check on her dog throughout the day. The dog is overdue to have her puppies by a day. I don't have a clue what to do if the dog actually starts to have her puppies. Giving birth is different than aiding. I can sympathize, but thats it.

Time to go find something to eat...

Trip To Oregon

We decided to take a two week trip to Oregon to see my family. Most of them have never met Michael or Hunter. Pretty much all of them in fact. So we are at week one today.

We spent a couple of days recovering from the trip out here. Then on Friday (we got here Wednesday) we travelled an hour away to spend a couple of days with my aunt. While we were there we visited my dad and his wife, my uncle and his family, my dads ex-wife and kids (my brother and sister), and my cousin John and his family. On Saturday evening we came back to my moms house. Sunday we had lunch at my grandmas house with my cousin Mike and his family, my Aunt Debbie and Uncle Dan, and my Aunt Robin. Sunday night I went to bed with a fever. I am still recovering. We plan on driving 3.5 hours away to visit my grandpa on Saturday. Next Tuesday my brother goes in for surgery on his knee. Then next Wednesday we fly back home.

Hunter did really well on the flights here. I was so proud of him. Since we have been here, a tooth is coming in and he can now sit up by himself. He is really enjoying all the attention he is getting from everyone. He is really going to miss his grandma.

Hunter-5 Months old

I have more pictures of Hunter. They are for months 1-4 so far but I plan on updated with monthly pictures so watch for them. The website is:

http://thegrebs.com/pictures/Hunter

]]> Hunter has become a handful. He is almost 6 months old. He can roll around all over the place and babbles constantly. He is going to be really talkative. He is just so adorable. He even says what says like 'momma' on occasion. Most of the time he just says 'omma.' At his 4 month appointment he weighed 15 pounds. He has already caught up to other babies his age. He is just so perfect and wonderful. We are so very proud of him.

Post-Pregnancy

Hunter Isaac Greb

http://thegrebs.com/~michael/pictures/hunter/hunter.html

]]> Hunter was born September 17, 2004. He was a month early. I went into the hospital while I was visiting Michael in Florida. That was three and a half weeks before Hunter was born. I was in the hospital that entire time. He is absolutely healthy and perfect. He is so beautiful. He has the sweetest smile and cutest laugh.

Update

So I start my 31st week tomorrow. I am catching a train today to go down and see Michael. I miss him so much, I am so excited to see him. He hasn't been gone for long and I am already going crazy without him. Last Wed I ended up in the hospital for high blood pressure, but as soon as I got to the hospital, the problem seemed to disappear. So now I am monitoring myself daily and the drs are monitoring me weekly. I need to go get ready for my train.

WEEK 29 Appointment

So yesterday I had my 29th week appointment. The good news is the baby seems to be doing just fine. He is active and growing and strong. I gained another 11 pounds these last four weeks. The dr was a bit suprised by this but I am not obese so she isn't worried. The bad news. My blood pressure is a bit high. The top number is two points off of the worry zone. There are a lot of stresses in my life right now though. Like Michael leaving on monday. I am all panicky and upset by it. And what if I have problems now? He won't be here to make sure I am ok. But mostly I am just going to miss him. I haven't been away from him where I didn't see him at least once a day in over two years. I don't know how to do it. I love having him around. Thats why I married him, so I could spend every day for the rest of my life with him. Now I have to spend two months away from him? While I am in my third trimester of my pregnancy no less. I am a mess.

Another Day

I went to the beach today. The waves were too strong for me. I was worn out after only a few minutes. I have spent the rest of the day exhausted. I took a nap, but it didn't seem to help. I have been cranky off and on today, but this evening for a moment I actually was feeling silly and happy. Now I am coming down from that and I feel worse. This pregnancy is really wearing me out. I sure hope that things go back to normal after the baby is born. I don't know how much more of this my body and sanity can take. Maybe tomorrow will be better...

28-29 WEEKS

It has been a very long time since I added anything to my blog. I am really worn out lately. I have too much going on and no energy to do it.

]]> I am 28 weeks and four days now. I have started my fetal movement counts. So far so good. Hunter moves around all the time. I still have nose bleeds once in a while, but my biggest problem, other than gas, just seems to be fatigue made worse by night insomnia. I am starting to get nervous again about the birth. The process is really scary. We have had all our classes now and they have only made my aprehension worse.

I am feeling very sad lately. Michael is going to Pensacola, Florida for AV Electronics school. He leaves this month on the 9th. He graduates on October 1. This means he is leaving me to deal with the third trimester by myself. I don't want him to leave me here, but we don't get a choice. I just can't believe the military would make him leave during the most crucial time in my pregnancy. Can't it wait six months. I mean come on. But it can't. I just don't know what I am going to do without him. I love him so much and need him so much right now. I am being left alone. To take care of myself and fight the loneliness. I am really scared.

Michael, please don't go. I need you right now.